This is going to be a long rant 🙂
Years ago I dropped out of the Christmas gift nuclear arms race which is as devastating as an exchange of ICBMs. I make no effort to provide a gift to every nephew, niece, sibling, cousin, neighbor, co-worker, friend, etc. As I am childless, I’ve never been forced to provide gifts for a child’s teachers and classmates and neighborhood friends.
In the name of self-preservation, I give cash to the building super and mailman. I give token gifts to two people I know who are alone and lonely. I give a token gift to an elderly aunt. I send a small box of dollar store gifts to one niece for her 4 young kids, who are still young enough and unspoiled enough to get excited about dollar store gifts.
I stopped spending Christmas with one sibling because it entails providing gifts for 10 to 15 people. Now I visit her on Thanksgiving. I spent Christmas one year with a cousin and I was horrified at the Christmas gift nuclear arms race in her social milieu. I talked with her and asked her to please not give me a gift costing more than $3 and that I would give her a gift costing no more than $3. She was surprised and meek and complied. Her husband thanked me 🙂
In my life I have learned that it’s a big financial mistake to spend Christmas with other people. The gift expectations, on top of the cost of travel, too big a hit in the wallet. Nowadays I spend Christmas alone and line up fun and interesting things to do during the season and make myself a special dinner. I want to be clear that I voluntarily spend Christmas alone because Christmas with other people costs too much!!
I am just done with the gift-giving wars, and this goes way, way back, many, many years. I remember when I was a grade school child, my teachers would get nasty with me when my parents didn’t provide them with Christmas gifts. I remember neighborhood parents insulting me (a grade schooler) when I would bring an “inadequate” gift to their child’s birthday party. As an adult, I have been insulted at wedding receptions by brides and grooms for not giving them a good enough gift. I am so, so done with the gift-giving wars.